The girl, Gail, wondered why, after my abandonment, the lies told, and my mistreatment, I would put it all aside to come to the wedding of a man who, after everything was said and done, had almost no relationship with or to me? Even my violence towards him, was the only manner I understood at that time, to react to what had been done to me, simple immaturity and striking out. The simple answer was that one day, one of us had to grow up, and I have nominated me, and now was as good a time as any to do it.We two danced on the grass all evening, ignoring everyone else. It turned out that it was Dad's back yard, which I hadn't known. Dancing had never been a survival necessity for me, but I did possess some social skills. It was a pleasant evening, and she was pleasant company. In fact, it was more pleasant than any evening I could remember, for a long, long time. I neither wanted, nor expected, anything further; just another instance of 'ships passing in the night'.Dad and I hugged when. .. Something Changed... After God only knows how long in limbo, my mind began to assimilate facts and information. Instead of being some kind of cosmic hitchhiker, drifting in eternity, my ... my ... well ... my essence, or my being ... my intelligence, if nothing else, was suddenly forming around a destination.The boundaries of time are only finite to the living. When you’re dead you go wherever your mind takes you, or the universe sends you. I’d been there and done that often enough to know.Now that I was something instead of formless and meaningless, I couldn’t wait to see where the universe was taking me. The pictures that exploded across my brain were too jerky and unconnected to mean much, but eventually I sensed that I was going backwards instead of sideways. Images of things past blurred into focus just long enough to make an impression on me, and the impression was that I was retreating into the past as things began to slow down.When the universe slowed my retreat long enough.
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